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The fellow who called in and yelled at me ... The wet keyboard This is one of my all-time favorites. A lady called in and asked if we worked on keyboards. "Yes, ma'am, we certainly do. What's the problem?" Long silence. "Ma'am, are you still there?" "Well, I, uhm, well you see, it, uh, I don't quite know how to say this." "Don't worry ma'am, we've seen about everything that can go wrong with them." Well, not quite everything! Turns out, as she said, "... my three-year old son urinated all over the keys." Now it was my turn to be silent. Mainly because I was biting my lip to keep from bursting out laughing. She asked if there was any kind of cover she could get for it. Waterproof no less! I couldn't resist asking, "... have you been spending a lot of time on the keyboard lately?" "Why yes, I have. I just bought it a couple of weeks ago." "And you probably haven't been spending as much time with your son as you were before, right?" "Well, no, I've been on the keyboard quite a bit." "Instead of buying a waterproof cover, why not spend some time with your son. Sounds to me like he's taken a bit of an offense at you spending so much time away from him." Long silence. "Oh my, oh, I never thought ...., oh, thank you." Haven't seen a wet keyboard since. Got horns? "Hey, ya got any horns fer sale?" "Hm, what type of horn are you looking for?" "You know, the kind ya play music through." ( !!! ) Ten minutes later I discovered that he wanted two of --- "... them big rectangle thangs on the top of the spayker box ..." "How much are they?" "Well sir, for the kind of power level you want to run, you'll need a fairly powerful driver." "That's what I want, lots of power." And again, "How much?" Well, they start around $130.00 and go up from there." Silence. Then, "He**, I don't want it that bad!" Click. Dialtone. ... that's under warranty, ain't it? "... but my amp's only six months old." "Understood, sir, but ..." "I've never been hard on it." "Yes sir, but ..." " ... whaddaya mean, it's not under warranty? I just bought it! " Yell, yell, holler, holler. Etc., etc.. "Sir, remember what you said was wrong with your amp?" "Yeah, I told you that it just quit working." "And do you remember saying that it 'just quit working', AFTER IT FELL OFF YOUR CABINET ? " Silence. More silence. "Oh, yeah, that .... uh, well, just fix it and let me know how much." "Yes sir. Thank you sir. We'll let you know as soon as it's finished." Click. Dialtone. Bang head on workbench. (And no, we didn't charge him an extra fee for the grief! ) Can ya fix it? This guy had THE most nerve of any customer we've ever had! He brought in a keyboard for repair and okayed the work. Dave rebuilt it and it worked like new again. Then the customer started his 'scam' ... (Like we were dumb enough that we wouldn't understand!) "What? That much to fix my keyboard? I'm not payin' that" ... gripe, gripe. "Sir, you okayed the repairs and we ..." "I don't care, I ain't payin' it!" Yell, yell, holler ... Finally, after ten minutes or so of this, Dave said ... "Alright, alright. NO CHARGE THEN! JUST TAKE IT, GET OUT, AND DON'T COME BACK." The guy smiled smugly, took his keyboard, and left. Ready ... ??? Not three minutes later, this character comes back in ... carrying a BIG mixing console. "This is broke[sic], too. Can ya fix it?", he asked. Dave just looked at him ... Silence. This guy actually set the mixer on the incoming bench and told Dave, "Just give me a call when it's done." and left again. Needless to say, I called the fellow back shortly and told him ... "Sorry, sir, we just couldn't (bring ourselves to) fix your mixer, I'm afraid that you'll have to take it elsewhere." Then it was my turn to get yelled at (yet some more) ... "Whaddaya mean? Ya fixed my keyboard, didn't ya? What kinda shop do you guys run, anyhow?" I just didn't have the heart to tell him --- "We have the kind of shop ... THAT LIKES IT'S CUSTOMERS TO PAY FOR THEIR REPAIRS"! |
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